kitchen Angst!

My family tree held on to all the recessive genes and dumped them all in one nut… ME!

Talk about being an odd ball! I love it though, I just wish I hadn’t been so outgoing, and loud as a kid. I wanted to talk about everything, being the youngest of three, this caused more problems for me, I was always being told to “shut up, that I was stupid”, and that “I would never be anything”! Well I guess I believed them enough to make it so! That’s how S.A.D. starts most of the time… a traumatic time in your childhood.

I have now realized this and am working on getting over those feelings of worthlessness, however they do still creep into my daily life… if I’m not careful! Even though I have recently gone through a devastating break up, I found someone new that loves me! I wont lie, I’m scared… “once bitten” as they say! But I refuse to allow the downfalls of my past to control my future! I will move on!!!! more slowly than before, and with an added since of self worth but that is what growth is all about. I have to realize that I am worth the love that is being shown too me! That my love for them is only half the equation. If it isn’t equal, It’s not worth my time!  This is a  hard thing to see, but with time I will figure it out… and make millions off my book!

The Heart is an amazing thing, even while it is broken, it can find love!! I never thought it true, but it is! I only hope this time it doesn’t end, or if it does… it wont ruin me for life! Through hardship, comes pleasure, so maybe this is just that for me! I have been nothing but  honest with my new Beau ( and He with me ) now only time and understanding will tell! He knows I have to take it slow, so we will!

No drugs involved!

just understanding, and proper communication!

James